Sermon excerpts: "Family Ties"

... New beginning is exactly what Jesus was preaching in the parable of the Prodigal Son. The Pharisees and scribes have been accusing Jesus of inappropriate behavour and ask him to defend his actions. Why would someone claiming to be as honourable and pious as the Messiah stoop to associate with riff raff like prostitutes and outcasts, sinners and tax collectors, the way that Jesus was?
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Jesus replies with a series of parables. He imagines how a father welcomes back a son who squandered his inheritance and another son who resents the fuss. It begins with a rather rude and unconventional demand of the younger son.

It would be like me going to my father and saying, “Dad, seeing as you’re going to die and leave me some money as inheritance, why don’t we just skip ahead and you give me the money now?” The implications were clear that the father is now dead to the son and that the son had no use for his father apart from his money.

He embraces the figurative death of his father and runs off to a faraway land and in prodigal style, lives recklessly and extravagantly. Of course, the money runs out and he finds himself working on a pig farm. Definitely not kosher, this is a Jewish man tending to a herd of religiously unclean animals. He’s so desperate that he’d eat the food the pigs get.

His last resort is to return home and beg to be taken back as a hired hand. The word prodigal means “spending money or resources freely and recklessly; wastefully extravagant”. This also describes the father. He brings out the best robes and rings, kills the fatted calf which would only be done when hosting a visiting dignitary of great importance or for the wedding of one’s child. In his relief and joy, he goes overboard.

When the older son learns of this, he becomes angry. It is interesting to note that the younger son in his darkest hour decides to return home to become a “hired hand”. The loyal, hard-working older son who’s been home all this time, describes his years of work as “slaving” for the father. We see how the sons see themselves.

The parable ends abruptly. I can’t imagine that the conversation finished with the father’s simple explanation, “this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found”. There had to be more conversation; but what happened next?

We imagine what life would be like for the family after this event. Did the younger son stick around and did the older son forgive him? Were they able to be a family after all? Or did the younger son pick up and go on another misguided adventure? Was the grudge too great to let go of and did the older son smoulder with anger?

It gets us thinking about our own families, our own lives and the times we’ve been hurt or unappreciated. The times we messed up so bad that all we can do is swallow pride and hope for the best. Or the times we’ve seen someone else get away with something and not pay the consequences. It can be hard for us to see grace and forgiveness at work; especially if we feel that is not deserved. Forgiveness is tricky business:

"Forgiveness is giving up the right to retaliate. Forgiveness is the willingness to have something happen the way it happened. ... Forgiveness is never dependent on what the other person does or does not do; it is always under our control. Forgiveness is giving up the insistence on being understood… For those who accept and practice this discipline, there is a release of energy and a sense of freedom." (Upper Room Books: For Everything There Is a Season, 1988)

It’s true. It takes a lot of time, energy and effort to stay angry with someone, to bear a grudge to keep that bitterness alive.

We wonder a lot about what happened next in the story. What about what happened before? Why did the younger son feel so compelled to cut off all ties with his family? That he wanted his father dead. How badly did he feel that he had to live his own life, was he trying to escape the shadow of his responsible older brother?

Very quickly we find ourselves wanting more information to fill in the blanks. Where do we find ourselves in this parable? the father, the older son, the younger son? (although I’ve heard of writers trying to imagine themselves as the fatted calf). I think there’s an element of all those people in us.

There are times when we’ve been so happy at the prospect of a reunion, a restored relationship, that all we can do is celebrate like the father. There are times when we recognize how incredibly wrong we have been and can only hope that our apology will be heard, not expecting forgiveness.

Or we’ve been the oldest son feeling unappreciated, unnoticed, and taken for granted. This is a direct comment to the Pharisees and scribes criticizing Jesus. They’re feeling left out that Christ is spending so much time with the others, or his implication that enough isn’t being done for the outcast and downtrodden.

We see a similar kind of phenomenon happening in our churches. We devote so much time and energy to attracting others who are not involved that we forget to pay attention to those who are. We might begrudge dollars that are directed to Mission work and other charities outside of our community, because that money is needed here. It isn’t a lack of faith, per se, but there is fear that there won’t be enough to go around.

The prodigal father had limitless unbounded love for both sons. Jesus identifies such love in through parable, for Pharisees and sinners, for us and all others. When we return to God’s love, there is always a celebration.